(PART 2 OF 3)
When you think about ghosting what comes to mind? Do you see it as a form of cruelty or simply a way to end a romance? It’s a practice of endings that not only happen in courtships, but with friendships and business associates or what have you. A passive aggressive stance someone took with not only the relationship but with someone’s heart. The problem with this shenanigan is it had you blindsided because you believed all was well. But was it? Has the disappearing act become a new trend? Perhaps, but it sure is a disturbing reality. It’s an easy way out for someone who never cared or maybe did, but was too afraid to admit it.
It’s a brush-off. A dismal kiss-off. The problem is there’s no closure. If only you knew what you said or did. So you can learn something from the pain that not only left you asking why but wondering how to avoid ghosting in the future. Sometimes it’s miscommunication, whereby someone in the relationship read something different. And instead of facing some perceived outcome, they took the first exit ramp, one that excluded you.
NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON’T
Perhaps for the ghost, it’s a way for them to play the field while you tag along, left behind the curtain of some scene in a bad play. Who knows? For all I know, it could be their way to leave the door open for potential future interaction. But do you want to be the next in line? OK maybe, just maybe, you never saw it coming because you were more infatuated with a relationship instead of how you were being unfairly treated. Lost in the euphoria of love. The problem is, it’s one-sided love. If there’s love, there’s no guessing, no confusion, no games because there’s heartfelt communication. You know where you stand.
What’s interesting is sometimes there’s more to the story. As with any unhealthy relationship you don’t always take the time to read between the lines. Or perhaps you do, but refuse to believe that there was something uncanny happening behind the scenes. There was an unspecified, unnatural, and unsettling backdrop where you were being ghosted temporarily and on more than one occasion by the same person… without knowing. Were we void of our spidey-senses or did we shift gears into denial. A one-sided relationship where someone was lost in love, while the other person wasn’t even that into you.
Sometimes we find ourselves walking through life blindfolded, and we try to deny that we’re the ones who securely tied the knot.
THE DISAPPEARING ACT TAKES PRACTICE
The closure you seek will never materialize because this person lacked the ability to communicate. They weren’t great at communicating from the beginning, and you just accepted it. The sad thing is when the strong silent types decide the relationship isn’t their cup of tea they have the tendency to vanish. Sometimes using this line: I’m moving, the job is taking me to another city. Then you never hear from them again. Really? If someone is into you, they would never put you through something as cruel as a disappearing act.
What happens when they reappear and want to reconcile? That’s spooky. There better be a sensible explanation beyond a reasonable doubt. Perhaps he was practicing Houdini maneuvers, which somehow failed him. Can the escape artist restore a relationship to its former state prior to ghosting? No, because the one left with no answers will always have this vanishing act on replay. Who wants to go there again? You can rekindle the relationship, but without trust, it will be difficult, to say the least. Is it possible? Oh sure, if the explanation was sincere, plausible, and your intuition gives the green light. However, if you feel hesitant, then go with no.
Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.