Gossip or Talebearer – Friend or Foe You Decide

One day as I was making my way to a meeting a group of colleagues stopped me. For whatever reason, they felt I should be privy to the latest gossip. Although the matter wasn’t any of my business somehow they made it theirs. These individuals are in every workplace, church, school, and family. Those who thrive on talking about what they shouldn’t. How would my taking part in this cynical discussion be relevant and beneficial? So I glanced at my watch as I apologetically waved and said I was in a hurry. I had time to spare but not for taking part in something I will later regret.

The whispers come from behind closed doors gripping your sense of trust. “Psst, did you hear about so and so and blah blah.” Now the entire office looks at, so and so and blah blah differently as though they are the problem rather than the one who is spreading the malicious gossip. Oh, the tales and rumors people weave just to make themselves feel better. Those who practice this kind of behavior lack self-esteem and tend to lean on the branch of insecurity.

THE GOSSIP BULLIES THEIR WAY THROUGH LIFE

Even though you may see them surrounded by people they exhibit passive hostility toward those who have stoked them the wrong way. They nurse themselves by putting other people down. All in hopes of making someone look worse than how they, themselves feel. I call it a form of deflection, by redirecting the state they find themselves in and projecting it toward another. They locate the target as they point their hostility where it hurts the most, directly at someone’s reputation. The gossip goes on a verbal rampage by baring lies, deception, and dishonesty as they bully their way through life. If they discover that this doesn’t trouble the other person they continue to harbor intense resentment, taking it a step further by using ghosting and isolation tactics.

YOU CAN TELL WHO PEOPLE ARE JUST BY LISTENING TO THEM

The same bully we see on the playground is the same bully one interacts within an office setting. The young bully just grew up in height although not in stature. I recall responding to a colleague who was discouraged on more than one occasion, “You are obviously important for someone to use their energy to talk about you. What’s essential is for you to know who you are as a person, that is all that matters.” At the end of a day, it makes no difference what someone says or what someone does, what matters most is why it matters to you.

Dare yourself to take the high road by refusing to entertain those who take pleasure in harming someone’s reputation. Life is too grand and too short to spend time focused and burdened by those who have nothing better to do than talk behind someone’s back, in a derogatory fashion. Those who tend to use malicious intent to bring others down lack moral character and sound judgment.

EXHIBITS INDIFFERENCE

These situations become quite intolerable especially when the gossip refuses to reflect on the potential outcome of this type of behavior. They fail to consider actions that may result in devastating consequences. Nevertheless, because they aim to destroy a reputation they refuse to regard someone else’s feelings. Rather than display compassion, they exhibit indifference and cold-heartedness.

It’s important to be consciously aware of what we take part in and see gossip for what it is, detrimental. Once we understand its adverse effects and harmful impact on others, that is when we solve the woes of humanity. There is hope; it’s when we step into the space of respect for others that relevant changes can happen within us and therefore with society as a whole.

GOSSIP A FORM OF INTENTIONAL CRUELTY

What comes around goes around perhaps the gossipmonger will eventually experience the inevitable. Perhaps arriving at a place in time when they will fall victim to those same false judgments and fictitious accusations. It’s not a matter of if it will happen it’s more a matter of a karmic when. Gossip is a form of intentional cruelty that is very destructive within families, social groups, and workplaces. It ultimately creates toxic environments with morale taking the ultimate plunge into that space of the unacceptable.