How Will We Know When They’re a Keeper?

Ahh, a keeper. We may garner their attention, but can we harness their affection? Now, what if we were to exemplify the essential attributes? After all, a relationship with a keeper will not see the light of day if we lack the characteristics. This is because they operate differently from, say, a Don Juan or Casanova. The ones known to put themselves out there, continuously surfing the dating sites, looking for the next catch of the day. It’s important to be aware of the differences. To decipher between those who are keepers versus those who are flirts, between those you can trust and those you can’t. This post should indeed point you in the right direction. Let’s get real. Who has time to waste? It’s important to note who’s worthy of dating, who isn’t, and how will we know?

WELL FOR STARTERS THERE’S THOSE WHO VALUE YOU AND THOSE WHO DON’T

Robert Tew nailed it with this fabulous quote:

This quote alone could be the clincher – a person of value who values you. A keeper will give you time and attention. If you find him or her, you are oh so lucky. But let’s face it. There’s more than luck involved. We have to be the right person for the right person.

A KEEPER

Keepers are a special breed. They exercise patience, kindness, and respect. They’re effective communicators. We’re also talking about someone reputable who’s trustworthy. Anyone who shows up with high-quality traits such as these should be the only ones on our radar. All the rest should fall by the wayside.

IN SEARCH OF GOLD – SEARCHING FOR THE REAL DEAL

In time, you’ll discover who’s suitable and who isn’t. There is something to be said for biding your time. We can even draw parallel to someone panning for gold. And that is what a keeper is. Pure gold.

Attraction is but the beginning. With the right person, they have their sights on you and only you. They will get past the facade and zero in on what makes you their person, having a good sense of whether you are worth their time and energy. They pick up on your traits, uncover your idiosyncrasies, and discover not only your persona, but what their life will entail by having you in it. This is someone getting it right at the get go, and this is also when things get super interesting. 

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU’VE FOUND YOURSELF A KEEPER

A relationship with the right person is different on so many levels. Who wouldn’t want to attract something like this, someone like this? If we garner the ardent affection of someone of this caliber, it’s clear we’ve found the one. You just know. It feels right because it’s right.

Now, let’s be clear, keepers aren’t afraid to bypass someone altogether for those who ooze respect – respect for self, respect for others. They get beyond attraction and sexiness, getting down to what counts when one intends to build a great relationship. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying attraction or sexy isn’t important, because I can assure you, it carries significant weight. However, there’s more to it. Much more.

What about honesty, fidelity, stability, and reliability? All great nouns, and all exceptional traits. But there are those who get sidetracked, duped into believing something is when it isn’t. Too many engage toxic people, forfeiting gems. Why? One answer could very well be, they do not understand who they are and what they deserve. So they entertain the wrong people. Let’s put it this way. We deserve love, therefore we deserve better. People enticed by those who fool around only fool themselves, and with this, won’t know what true love entails. And this brings me to attraction.

ATTRACTION 2.0 – THERE’S THAT

Say what? This is all about captivating the one who’s prepared to go the distance. Those who have their sights on long term. Keepers are distinctive from those enthralled with the likes of Daisy Dukes, determined to take it to some limit regardless of the stakes. This is who we can refer to as Mr. Oh So Wrong, but I’ll date them, anyway. 

Listen up, anyone eager to entertain you for one night or a few nights here and there, along with everyone else who attracts them, isn’t “the one.” Okay, I admit, perhaps I’m being ultra conservative. A traditionalist at heart. A fuddy-duddy. But hear me out, having this to add, and I will state it unapologetically – “I just don’t get why there’s even a smidgen of attraction to anyone who consistently misses the mark.” Like really? Have we lost our senses? But that’s just me, and we’ll just agree to disagree for the sake of my avid readers who are trying to get through this long-winded blog post.

HOW WILL WE KNOW WHEN THEY’RE A KEEPER? 

Well, it’s really you knowing when they’re not. All the signs are there. And sometimes it’s that ever subtle cue, an intuitive nudge that whispers… “Mayday.” And this is when we take heed. After all, who has time for games? The thing is, a keeper doesn’t play games. When it’s this authentic, I can assure you – you will know. 

EVASIVE TENDENCIES – A RED FLAG

Someone who cares, responds. They will respond to questions, giving you the feedback you deserve. Graciously allotting ample time for you to get the answers you seek. And this feels oh so right – because it just is. It’s a relationship worth striving for, one that can only get better. It’s you connecting with someone on the same playing field where two people succeed at making something beautiful work. A partner who is mindful, who helps you stay in tune to whether the relationship is headed in the right direction or whether it’s off track. And that, my friend, is how we know.