After reading the emails I’ve received of late, the phrase hopeless romantic crops up. Idealism – being the fundamental quality a few of my readers share. Idealistic in their approach to love and the way they view relationships. Regardless of all the obvious red flags, they are attuned to turning a blind eye. The thing is, tuning solely into the person you desire to be the one may very well have you tuning out all the negative aspects and qualities the connection delivers. The challenge is that a hopeless romantic will feel not only compelled to hold on to a challenging relationship, but they will also feel incomplete without having someone to love. Accommodating a connection to a fault by viewing it through rose colored glasses.
Why are so many flailing throughout life in bad relationships, only to close in on those latter years, single and still in search of love? The love they will not find within their current partnership. Wouldn’t you at least consider you are worthy of far better? Nevertheless, it’s great to know there’s some semblance of hope. However, at whose expense?
ARE YOU A HOPELESS ROMANTIC? KNOW OF ONE?
I get that it’s never too late for romance. After all, where there’s a desire, there may very well be a possibility. It really doesn’t matter how long something like this takes before someone gets it right. The right timing, the right place, the right person. A realistic approach is what’s needed, and will place those romantics on track to realizing that time is gold. The problem is that most people throw it away. Say what? They squander time.
Are you open to romance, yet, by the same token, entertaining people who continuously fall short? Well then, you may just find that love will remain elusive at best. Let’s just admit this one fact. A hopeless romantic will have a tendency to always feel hopeless. Hopelessly in love with love. Now, hopeless is a word that doesn’t bode well for anyone. I’d rather be a hopeful romantic. Optimistic that one day paths will cross and we’ll find our happy ever after. Now back to that question. Are you a hopeless romantic? Nine pointers… who knew?
Can a bad relationship turn around? Well, that depends solely on two people and the situation they find themselves in. Show more interest and wait to see what happens. You’ll never know unless you give someone more time. Never would I suggest someone take this route. Time is precious. Why give it away to the wrong person? Why not put yourself out there? I’m not talking about getting yourself lost in dating apps. I’m referring to just getting yourself out of the house, taking part in events. Let’s just face it. A hopeless romantic will always remain where they are regardless of how bad things are. It’s tough being hopeful when hopeless. Why not strive to become a hopeful romantic instead?
FUMBLING YOUR WAY THROUGH THE NOT-SO-GREAT RELATIONSHIP
Okay, I sense a murmur of that word, but. But there are too many people who can just as easily grow apart. I get that. I will not sugarcoat where some relationships end up, as I’m sure most can relate. Let’s just admit too many seekers get entangled with the wrong people, wasting a lot of valuable time and energy. When it’s right, it’s great, and when it’s wrong, everything sucks. However, if we’re solely tuned into love, love should never feel bad. Let’s repeat that. Love should never feel bad. We can get a fairly good read on someone early in the relationship. Why give something bad more time? Telltale signs never lie. The key is to pay attention.
Some signs are of the blazing red flag variety, frantically calling attention to just how bad a relationship is. Perhaps a situation left you questioning yourself on more than one occasion. Maybe you even questioned why you attract what you do. Instead of being honest about how inadequate the relationship is, you continue down the wrong path, with the wrong person with no regard to how this will play out. By refusing to admit how bad something is – this not only influences your life, but it will also impact your total wellbeing… physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Staying in anything unpleasant does that. Not only is it unhealthy, it can steal years of your life. Just saying.
A HOPELESS ROMANTIC WILL HAVE A TOUGH TIME TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF
A friend of mine fell under some spell. He admitted he loved being in love, yet, had a hard time coming to terms about his relationships. Let’s just put it this way. Finding that special someone among the people he dated left him questioning his choices. He wasted years in relationships and couldn’t understand what he was doing wrong. One day, I enlightened him. “It’s you.” “What?” he answered, with a quizzical expression. I replied, “The women you consistently attract are all wrong for you.” He had a type, as we all do. With every person he’d introduce, I would close my eyes and shake my head. One day, he said, “Maybe you can help me out here.” “Me?”
Now, I have to admit, at the time, I wasn’t the right person to take on the role. I had my own challenges back in the day. I chose wrong, so who was I to dish out advice? But as the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together, so what the heck. Perhaps we can learn from one another. Not only did I discover my pal was a hopeless romantic, but in some ways, so was I. I once upon a time walked that very path. However, it was a brief stint in my early years of dating.
Listen up. It’s like this. We have this vision of what attracts us (a type). We see them, like them, and date them, and in time, hopefully come to our senses. What the heck were we thinking? That’s not what a relationship should look like, feel like, be. It’s all wrong. Some of us just don’t get it. And most never will.
TIME ISN’T TIMELESS – IT’S DIFFERENT
Perhaps we aren’t as astute as we believe we are when it comes to love, so we continue off track as if we have nine lives. But we don’t. Time limits us, and time, as we all know, doesn’t differ from a New York minute. It waits for no one. It’s here, and then it’s gone. Poof! All of those fleeting moments eventually leave us wondering… now what?
The thing is, we rarely catch on, and when we do, it’s a little too late. While it can take most of us a minute, it can take some of us a lifetime. The key is to always keep it real. Look at your relationships, every blemish, don’t just use concealer to mask the problems. Look directly at every negative moment and then ask yourself: Self, how am I feeling about the situation, the connection, the person, the experience? The answer will surprise you.
You treat them like they have a heart like yours, but not everyone can be as soft and as tender. You don’t see the person they are. You see the person they have the potential to be.